QUESTION

Hi, Pastor Sattler,
I just wanted to know if I could ask for some guidance. The guidance isn't for me directly, but it's for a friend of mine who lives out of state. About a year ago January, he lost his best friend to suicide. The two had known each other since birth, and even though it's been over a year, he is still coping with occasional depressions and anger over the situation. I was hoping maybe you could help me out.

This past week I have been talking to my friend and he has suddenly been asking me about what happens to people when they commit suicide. He's not considering this himself, he's only wondering what's happened to Johhny. Neither my friend nor Johhny are strong in their faith, but they both believe in God and Jesus. And it amazes me how suddenly my friend is so interested in learning about God. I have to wonder if this is partly a response to my nightly praying that God would go into my friend's heart. I have been trying to give the most helpful information to my friend as I can, but it seems as though I don't know enough to fully help him and explain things to him. I'm starting to see what it means to witness my faith, but I'm also realizing that I don't know enough to give him the answers he is looking for. I was hoping that you could provide some information on what happens to people when they die after they've committed suicide.

I explained to my friend that it depends on if the person believes or not. I explained that even mass murderers and serial killers can go to Heaven if they ask for forgiveness and truly change their ways. I explained that when a person asks for forgiveness, God gives them a new, clean slate and he forgets about their past sins. But on the topic of suicide, I don't know as much as I would like to. I remember you talking about this in confirmation class at least once, but I can't seem to remember in depth details about the consequences of suicide. I looked up in our confirmation book/folder that when a person kills, it's not necessarily that they don't believe, that it might be because they are having troubles in their faith.

I would really appreciate some insight to give to my friend as he is still, and will always be, dealing with the loss of his best friend Johhny. If you could email me back when you get the chance, I will relay your email back to my friend so he will get the most accurate information as possible. Thank you for your time and consideration.

“Concerned about a Friend”

ANSWER

Dear “Concerned”,
You ask a question that has plagued the church for thousands of years... without a clearly defined answer that applies to all situations. Each situation is unique. Let me explain:
First of all, you must know that a person's eternal destiny has nothing to do with how a person dies... or even how the person lived. It has everything to do with a person's relationship with Jesus. If the person has a saving relationship with Jesus and trusts that the death of Jesus is the payment for all our sins, then that person will be received by God in death. If not, no matter how they lived, they will not be with God in heaven.
Now... there are two issues with suicide: there is an assumption that a person who commits suicide must not really believe in Jesus, because they are essentially saying that in their situation, there is no hope... when those who follow Jesus know that there is always hope in Him. It's also a gross form of idolatry... by saying that God wants me to keep living, but I know better than God and I want to die. So we're playing God in the worst way possible.
There is also the issue that comes up a lot, that when a person commits suicide, they are sinning willingly with no possibility of repentance. In other words, it's a sin that cannot be forgiven.
Because of those issues, the church, for thousands of years, would not conduct a funeral for a suicide, because the person was "obviously not saved."
However, with all the research that has been done on mental illness in the last century or so, there has been a change in our stance on suicide. We can't make such blanket statements about suicide, because we don't know what the mental condition of the individual was. It is possible for a mentally ill individual to do things without being "aware" of what they are doing.... much as an individual on drugs. To declare that an individual necessarily goes to hell because of a momentary decision that was made after a lifetime of faithfulness to Jesus and then under the influence of drugs (or the lack of drugs in some cases) commits suicide, is making a decision that only God can make.
Also, keep in mind that sin is not forgiven only when we ask for forgiveness (repentance), (That's a Roman Catholic idea). If that was the case, then there are lots of sins that I don't even know I've committed and haven't asked for forgiveness. That doesn't keep me out of heaven. The argument that suicide leaves one sin unconfessed, doesn't hold water Scripturally. We are forgiven of all sin... even ones we don't know about or haven't committed yet.
Suicide has serious implications on a person's spiritual well being, but I don't think that we can make blanket statements that apply in all situations.
On the other hand, we don't want to imply that suicide is OK. We never want to sin willingly or on purpose thinking that God will forgive me anyway. It IS the ultimate form of idolatry. It's taking into our hands, what only belongs to God (The 1st & 5th Commandments)
And because it raises so many questions about a person's eternal well being, we just don't even want to go there. We want to have certainty and assurance.
Does that make sense? A long answer to your question, but there's no real simple answer.
You may want to check out the article on the Synod website about suicide at:
http://www.lcms.org/pages/internal.asp?NavID=2123
Thanks for writing. Let me know if you need clarification.
Pastor Sattler


 Back to Q&A Page
 To Submit a Question

Other Questions Answered on the Synod Website